By Bruce Finley | bfinley@denverpost.com | The Denver Post
October 30, 2024 | Denver Post – Season to Share
When Towani Clarke met 12-year-old Antoniece, she’d been struggling with a way of living she describes as “blinkered,” moving through daily duties from her job at Nordstrom to the yoga classes she teaches to home.
Clarke came to Colorado four years ago from Zambia, where she founded an Afro-chic women’s clothes company. She missed the intergenerational contact common in Zambia. Her own children had grown.
She began meeting every few weeks with Antoniece – an Aurora middle schooler living with her 71-year-old grandmother. Colorado’s Big Brothers Big Sisters program paired them together as a “Big” and a “Little.”
“The benefit for me is really getting my feet on the ground, learning what is happening,” said Clarke, 52. Antoniece is
“intuitive,” physically robust, and loves her grandmother, she said. Before Halloween last year, Antoniece informed her: “I’m going to dress up as a grandma.’ ”
Clarke and her husband had attended a Big Brothers Big Sisters party. For 107 years, Big Brothers Big Sisters has been pairing adults with children for the purpose of “empowering youth through mentorship.” This year, the program expanded into mentoring at schools. Colorado Big Brothers Big Sisters officials estimate that “one in three children lack a mentor.” A 2023 U.S. Surgeon General’s report on “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation”, warning social disconnection can be as harmful as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, has heightened interest in mentoring as a remedy.
For Antoniece, challenges include a lack of safe open space to play near the family’s apartment. She and Clarke have been meeting for a year and a half. They’ve gone often for ice cream. They’ve gone on hikes. They’ve gone swimming and to a circus. They listen to music by Beyonce and the Afrobeat artist Burnaboy.
At school, Antoniece has been earning solid grades. She participated in choir, cheerleading, the spirit team, and basketball.
This past summer, Clarke visited Zambia and promised Antoniece a gift when she returned. Big Brothers Big Sisters de-emphasizes gifts. Clarke went through protocols, seeking approval from the program director and Antoniece’s grandmother.
They knew Antoniece had tried roller skating a couple of years ago and enjoyed it. They hunted for skates, the old-school kind with four wheels, at Target, Dick’s, and finally Walmart, where they found the ideal pair: flashy aqua-blue wheels with sparkles, lavender boots that adjust, and bright green hooks for the pink laces.
Antoniece put them on. “She turned to me. She said: ‘Instead of going for ice cream, can we go to the park for me to try my skates?'” They found one with a smooth walkway where she rolled.
Afterward, still wearing the skates when Clarke dropped her at the apartment building, she forgot her phone.
Clarke found it and, an hour later, drove back to the apartment to give Antoniece the phone. She was still wearing her skates.
”They do different stuff. Like, they race,” Derritt said. “Antoniece comes home smiling. She’s seeing things that, without the program and Towani, she wouldn’t be able to see and enjoy. You look at Towani and Antoniece and you would think they are mother and daughter.”
At Big Brothers Big Sisters headquarters, chief executive Elycia Cook supervises scores of pairings of Bigs and Littles.
“One of the most beautiful things about our program is that the mentor often gets just as much or more out of it as the Little does,” Cook said. “I’ve heard so many mentors say things like: ‘It is good for my soul,’ ‘It has changed the way I treat people,’ and even ‘It has changed the way I vote.’ It gives them a sense they are involved in something bigger than themselves.”